TL Durand

Am I Crazy?

Do you ever wonder why your emotions feel so out of control? I often thought maybe he was right…I was crazy. The truth is, that traumatic experiences, such as a toxic relationship, often lead to reactive rather than responsive behavior. What’s the difference? A reaction is instinctual and happens before your brain can process theContinue reading “Am I Crazy?”

The Forgiveness Myth

We are told to heal, you must: Forgive but never forget. Forgive them and move on. Forgive them for you, not for them. Forgiveness is the key to healing. Blah, blah, blah… And, according to the dictionary, to forgive is to: Pardon. Excuse. Absolve. Let off. Make allowances for. Let bygones be bygones. To me, forgiveness isContinue reading “The Forgiveness Myth”

The Story in our Head

We all talk to ourselves every day – nonstop conversation, making decisions, and telling stories. So often, this is a good thing – how else would we navigate through life? Often, though, we hurt our own feelings in these conversations and stories. For example, we make up a scenario where we are imperfect, and someoneContinue reading “The Story in our Head”

“Discarded”

In addition to New Supply, discarded is another term frequently used by victims of emotional abuse. They’ve been “discarded by their narc.” The dictionary defines discard as disposing of something that is no longer useful or desirable. Is that really how we want to refer to ourselves? I can see if they do it because weContinue reading ““Discarded””

The “New Supply”

It bothers me how we villainize the “New Supply” like our relationship problems with the narcissist are their fault. The fact is, at one point, each one of us was the “new supply.” The narc hasn’t changed their behavior, only victims. I can see how the term “new supply” came about since it’s a reasonablyContinue reading “The “New Supply””

Trusting Yourself

Whether you’ve been in a toxic relationship or not, it’s hard to trust others once you’ve burned enough times. But, after you’ve been with a narc, the hardest part is trusting yourself again. The narc had you questioning every decision you made – and you believe them. When you leave, you still hear their voiceContinue reading “Trusting Yourself”

Do “How-to” Articles Help?

When I was with my narc, I never heard of a narcissist and obviously had no idea he was one. Actually, I admired him and felt lucky to be the girl he chose. He was a strong, confident person and I wasn’t. I justified his behavior by telling myself that my lack of boldness mustContinue reading “Do “How-to” Articles Help?”

Welcome!

Whether you’ve read Toxik: In the Narcissist’s Web or not, my hope is that this blog will be a source of fun, learning and inspiration. The goal of the book and this blog is to do more than just “raise awareness” of narcissists and their emotional abuse – we want to reveal its reality from a survivor’sContinue reading “Welcome! “